I suppose the funeral was about as good as it could have been. People came, nice things were said about the deceased, who got buried with the minimum of fuss, and it didn’t rain. Eventually everyone went away; then I guess I was really able to think about everything that had happened and what it all meant, and also about what I was going to do next.
But I get ahead of myself. Things don’t really start with funerals – mostly, at least for the deceased, they end with them; although I suppose endings are also beginnings. My dad died last week – I think it was Tuesday – and it’s his funeral I’ve just finished attending. Do you attend funerals? Or participate in them? Witness them, even? Whatever, that’s where I was.
Actually the funeral confirmed why I don’t like my relatives, have never liked them. Perhaps they don’t like me; we’ve never shown any liking or affection for each other from the start. Maybe they were just leaving me alone because they thought I was upset – certainly made it easier to avoid them.
The start was really the coronation of Queen Elizabeth the second on the second of June 1950. I was three, and I wasn’t very happy.
Ian, I feel depressed for you...Not exactly a cheerful start. Could you really remember all that stuff at the age of 3 which I assume is when your father died or have a misread the plot? Have you thought of "Last night I dreamed I went to Manderley again" or has that been done?
ReplyDeleteBy the way wasn't the Queen crowned in 1952/3? Just a nit pick...
I remember quite a lot of things from just before 3 and onwards. Some things are very vivid, or at least I think they are vivid memories. I can remember colours and patterns and smells. I remember the patterns on my Nan's pinafore (apron) and her cat and the formica table (red and white check) and lino flooring. I remember the boiler, the mangle, the shelf with the pots and pans, really heavy pans. I 'remember' one of the pans falling and hitting my Nan on the head and this made her 'go blind'. Actually I think she had very bad eyesight, I don't know the actual cause of her blindness, but she went blind when I was about three and a half. I don't remember dates well, but I remember sensations and fleeting moments/images. I remember being happy, but mostly I remember being sad or something like relief from being sad.
ReplyDeleteI love what both of you have written.
All I can remember from that age revolved around pain - the sort of things you experienced Tree: like getting my finger stuck in the workings of a clockwork toy, falling over on a walk with my father and crying, and waiting on the doorstep for him to come home late from work. Nostalgia's not what it used to be...
ReplyDeleteI remember having a fight with the girl who lived next door to my Nan. We were only 3 to 4 years old. I don't remember her name, but I do remember she was much taller than me. She was being a bully. She wanted my new doll's pram to play with, as well as her own. I got fed up with her and put my fingers into the corners of her mouth and stretched her mouth (I have no idea how I 'learnt' to do that). She cried. I stopped. I ran into my grandparents. I was heartbroken, beside myself. I don't remember fighting her again. I don't remember playing with her again. This 'time' is condensed into a rich mixture of random memories of events. I used to make mud pies with the same girl in my Nan's back garden, but I don't know if that was before, or after the 'mouth-stretching' incident.
ReplyDelete